Pressure, it can push or break you. There have been times when I’ve felt a daily push to accomplish a certain thing so that other areas of my life are less restricted. This has led to me feeling broken at times, degenerating to a point where I’m still, waiting, wondering what to do next. And then as the moment’s pass, I go on.
What else is there to do, but keep moving? I can choose to fail, accepting it or I can choose to keep moving, creating & in the process design something better. Is the better path guaranteed~maybe, maybe not. For each person it’s different. We all have to consider our options, our situations & reasons for thinking or doing things. We have to choose whether what others say or think about us is true. We have to choose whether we want things to go on or to stop.
And perhaps, therein lies a key. That we get to choose, if we want of course. But then what to do when the choices seem limited, when you have to choose between fear of the known or fear of the unknown? I guess we have to decide which one may stop the pain, which one may lead to something better. Isn’t a risk better than living in a monotony of the same thing?
So, I’ve reached another point where I have to choose & I have no idea if what I’m doing is necessarily the right thing, but I do have predetermined thoughts that what I’m about to do is better than going back to the old ways, to the same routine, the same pain. Though, having been in this unknown for a while and having failed so many times, the pull to return, to give in is so great that with it comes a fear. But based on past experience, I know some of what awaits if I go down this same old road. Can things be different? Yes, maybe. Can they stay the same or get worse? Yes, maybe. But what would happen if I keep living & moving in the unknown, in this area I’ve failed at repeatedly, even with a vision? I guess that’s for me to discover.
And so I choose. The unknown, hope & a vision. A belief in something greater than what was, something better. I guess we’ll see where I stand in a few…Now, what about you?